Hopes and Dreams of a Single Young Woman by Guest Blogger Lisa Jacobson from Club31Women.com

So many times, I have been asked by single gals in the church if there is a man out there for them.  It’s a question that weighs heavily upon many hearts, and one we don’t wish to ignore.  After following Lisa’s blog for a while now, I was very excited when she granted permission to share her latest blog with you.  Read carefully and prayerfully, my single sisters!!  Blessings!

Dear Mrs. Jacobson,

I follow your blog because I  ”share a passion for husband, home, and family”. With only one challenge – I don’t have a husband or a family (at least not yet?).

I’m 28, single and, in all honesty, get pretty discouraged at times. I’d really like to be married, but haven’t met the right guy. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will. What should I do while I’m waiting? Is there anyone out there for me? What do I do with my hopes and dreams?

From a Single, Young Sister

My dear sister,

So you are single. And no longer a girl, but a woman who has hopes and dreams of your own. You long to marry and have a family. But for now, that doesn’t seem to be what God has for you. Perhaps you’re 20 or 25, or maybe in your 30′s.

And you find yourself waiting…and wondering.

Where is that man of yours? (Does he even exist?)

What’s a woman supposed to do? Pine away? Pretend like you don’t care? Is there really any point in hoping?

I was 26 – and a dreamer – when I met my husband.  He was 31. We decided we wanted to get married three days after meeting (I’m going to tell that entire story sometime!) and our wedding took place a few months later.

But where had he been hiding all those years before? Where was he when I was crying alone in my room – desperately missing someone I’d never even met?

His answer: “You wouldn’t have liked me back then. I had a lot of growing to do.” (Hmm…Maybe I did too, come to think of it).

And that’s my basic story. I don’t know what yours will hold.

But here are a few thoughts….

It’s not wrong to want to be married. I sense this growing trend that today’s young woman should not admit she longs to be a wife and mother – that this is somehow less godly? Yes, we need to be content with whatever God has for us, but there’s nothing against wanting something very good and natural. How is it considered more “spiritual” to suppress those feelings? Rather than deny them, you can trust Him with your heart and lay it all at His feet.

God does not guarantee that you’ll get married. Yet, at the same time, we need to be careful we don’t “demand” marriage from God – just because we want it so very badly. Although I sincerely desired (and prayed for) healthy children, He allowed our fifth child to be born with life-threatening health issues. While it was not a situation I’d hoped for or anticipated, God gave what I needed to walk through that time and she’s a sweet blessing. You can be confident He’ll give the grace necessary for what He has in store for you as well.

You only have to be single today. If your heart’s desire is to be married, then the thought of being single “for the rest of my life” can be very discouraging. But as far as I can tell, God’s only asking you to be single on this day. You don’t know what tomorrow holds. So simply rest in what He has for you right now.

Try to be open-minded. I wouldn’t get too specific on what this guy will be like and how you’re going to meet him. Remember, God has far greater resources and abilities to bring about what He has for you. So let Him do the planning and keep your palms open and outstretched for whatever that might be.

Confession: I’d briefly met my husband eight months earlier, but announced to my friends, “If he was the last man on earth, I wouldn’t go out with him.”  I was later convicted by my declaration….gave him a chance…and you know how that ended up. 

Pray and let others pray for you. Personally, I’m extremely grateful for the mutual friends who prayed us together. I’m thankful for their determination to bring the matter before the Lord, as well as to introduce us. Why not let the people who know and love you join you in praying about this thing that is close to your heart?

Live your life fully each day. Make the most of the time you have. Seek to grow in godliness, in serving others, in knowledge and in skills. After I became a wife and mother, I could appreciate how the various ministries, experiences, and jobs I’d held previously had equipped me for what lay ahead. I could even see how “practicing contentment” helped me after our marriage – when I had small children, my husband traveled, or we were in a tough season. Far more was happening in my “single days” than I ever realized.

Well, I think I’ve touched on all of your questions, except one. Is there anyone out there for you?

Of course, I can’t say. Only God knows the plan He has for you. But I’m sure it’s a good and perfect plan.

And I know that He cares deeply about your hopes and dreams.

That He cares deeply about you. 

In His grace,

Shared by permission from Lisa Jacobson of Club31Women.com

P.M.S.:The Dreaded Days

As I was driving today, I was listening to a Christian radio show discussing some of the issues we as women have to deal with regularly.  Intrigued by the subject matter, I turned up the volume to be sure not to miss out on what was being said.  It’s not very often that you hear men and women discussing PMS and perimenopause on air, but a discussion that shouldn’t quickly be dismissed.

It’s the elephant in the room that everyone “ignores” but still has to struggle through.  Once a month, we’re hit with a surge of hormones that can sometimes turn us into horrible beasts.  Our words become short, our patience flies out the window, and our emotions are something we “have no control over.”  The old phrase, “It must be that time of the month” is so often used to excuse our behavior. 

For every woman, “that time of the month” is different than the next gal. The reality is that our bodies are going through a physical roller coaster.  We don’t feel great, we’re bloated, and definitely don’t feel like ourselves.  When we look at it strictly from a medical standpoint, we have legitimate issues that we are dealing with.  PMS often includes both physical and emotional symptoms, such as:

• Acne
• Swollen or tender breasts
• Feeling tired
• Trouble sleeping
• Upset stomach, bloating, constipation, or diarrhea
• Headache or backache
• Appetite changes or food cravings
• Joint or muscle pain
• Trouble with concentration or memory
• Tension, irritability, mood swings, or crying spells
• Anxiety or depression

Symptoms vary from woman to woman.  We all know this.  We’ve heard it a million times.  Nothing new there!

 

But as I drove down the road, the female guest on the broadcast said something that caught my attention; not in a negative way, but more in an “Ah-ha!” sort of way.   Beyond the physical ramifications of PMS, we as Christian women, are in a spiritual battle during that time of the month.

Spiritual?  Really?  Yes, really.  You see, when we begin to take the symptoms of PMS as allowance for bad moods, irritability, or all together emotional nastiness, we minimize what it truly is:

S-I-N!!

Nowhere in Scripture did God ever give us permission to sin because we are not feeling well. Instead, his Word tells us throughout that ill-tempers lead to folly.  Take a look at just a few verses in Proverbs:

1. Proverbs 14:17  “A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.”
2. Proverbs 14:29  “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
3. Proverbs 15:18  “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
4. Proverbs 22:24  “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person; do not associate with one easily angered.”
5. Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.”

Again and again, God’s Word warns us against these emotional deficits.  It’s amazing that we so easily buy into the lies that our sin is excused because we just can’t help it.  That’s a lie from Satan that we need to run from!  We need to have self-control, enabled by the Holy Spirit, on all days…even on those days. 

So on those days, dwell on this, “In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in EVERYTHING.” 1 Timothy 3:11 

Take PMS and let it be your goal to:  

P-Please     M-My     S-Savior! 

Let’s do it!!

Evaluate Your Habits: Where Did This Mess Come From?

We’ve all been there.  Our homes have had shiny floors, vacuumed carpets, and dusted treasures.  Everything is in its proper place; every crease is crisp.  The sheets are fresh and the pillows are fluffed, and the duvet is meticulously laid across the bed.  All the clothes are washed, ironed, and hung for their next wear.  It’s all done…the house is perfect!  Then the alarm clock goes off and reminds us that nothing is really complete, and our day has just begun with so many chores on the to-do list.  What’s a girl to do? 

The first thing to do is to evaluate our habits.  Where does the mess come from?  It is always helpful to assess the situation before diving in head first.  How can we get this clutter under control?  The question is raised, not so that our homes can appear to be like a beautifully designed Better Homes and Gardens photo exposés, but to allow our homes to be a place of enjoyment for our families.  

Before the de-cluttering and organizing process begins, the first step is determining what kind of clutter culprit you live with.  Most of us live with daily clutter – papers scattered here and there, toys to organize, clothes to donate.  But some of us have a bigger dilemma and it has more to do with making decisions than setting up a good filing system.

Clutter is annoying.  Disorganization can be maddening.  Clutter covers up dining tables and hides corners of the living room floor, but is easily stacked then separated, filed, and conquered in a few hours.  Disorganization is a door to a cabinet, a closet or even a bedroom that everyone is afraid to open; it boils down to the inability to get rid of anything and the urge to keep on accumulating more.

 You probably have a pretty good idea on whether you’re a clutter bug or deep in the trenches of disorganization.  Regardless of where you fall, the key to conquering both is developing and maintaining effective systems that keep you on track.

Here’s a tip to get you started:

1.  Donna Smallin, author of The One-Minute Organizer, says don’t be concerned with reserving big chunks of time to organize your home. “The most important thing is to get started by scheduling regular uncluttering time – from 15 minutes to an hour each day.” 

Sounds pretty doable, right!?  Don’t let the idea of organizing overwhelm you.  Take it in chunks, step-by-step.  You’ll be amazed at how much you can achieve when your goals are reasonably set. 

Ready!!  Set!!!  Go!!!!

 

Chasing Superwoman: Balancing Our Busy Lives

Whether you are a working mom, a single gal, or a young woman just out of high school, we’re all still trying to figure out this thing called living.  Our day-to-day hustle and bustle leaves us overwhelmed and distracted from what is important.  We’ve left behind the simpler life to put on more hats than our closets can accommodate.  It’s our attempt to chase superwoman.

For many of us, the hats we wear are a result of a failing economy that requires most women to work outside of the home.  For others, it may be the surplus of activities, taxiing our families from here to there, and everywhere.  The result is women worn out, stretched thinner than thin (and we’re not talking waistlines here), trying to be the best at everything, but failing to achieve it.  What’s a girl to do?

That’s a question that we’ll try to help answer….please realize, I don’t profess to know anymore than you, but God’s Word is our guidebook for living, so let’s let Him tell us how to balance our busy lives.

First off, we must realize that we simply cannot do it all!  God gave each of us bodies that tell us when we’ve pushed it too far.  That’s a blessing from Him!  Listen to it!  Allow yourself the opportunity to rest.  Remember what that is?  Not only did God make our bodies to alert us of our need to rest, He has commanded in His Word to set aside time for rest.  Take a look at Exodus 20:8-11, “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.  Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.  On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor manservant or maidservant, no your animals, nor the alien within your gates.  For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but He rested on the seventh day.  Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.”

Secondly, God has blessed us all with family and friends who love us for who we are, and not for what we do!  Our kids and husbands don’t expect perfection…so relax!  Enjoy the time you have with them.  The years are passing by way too quickly!!  If it means scheduling date nights (and for many of us, it does), or family nights on your weekly calendar, then do it!  Make it a priority!!  Let your husband and kids know that second only to the Lord, they are top on your list!

Thirdly, and this is something we can all take a hint from…it’s okay to say NO to something once in a while.  We are selling ourselves, our families, and most importantly our God short of our best when we strive to do too much.  Set aside time each day to be in the Word…feast upon its goodness!  Sunday Morning services are not enough to sustain us for the busyness of the week to come.  James 1:22 reminds us that we are to be more than just hearers of the Word, “Do not merely listen to the Word and so deceive yourselves.  Do what is says!”

So how can we apply this today?  What changes can we make now to better our tomorrows?  Here are just a few tips to get you started:

1)      Take a look at your calendar and prioritize your responsibilities.  See what is absolutely necessary, and what things can be eliminated.  Ask the Lord to give you discernment as you weigh your obligations.  After the assessment, ELIMINATE those items that are not necessary.

2)      Maintaining our homes can sometimes fall through the cracks when time runs out from all of our other obligations.  So how can we balance our time to be effective homemakers and still be diligent workers outside?  Focus on one room at a time.  It’s easy to become ADD when it comes to housekeeping (I’ll be the first to admit that).  Set a reasonable goal…remember, perfection is not necessary!  Set a timer for 20 minutes, and clean one room for that time period.  This is a fun challenge to include your kids on.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish in such a short period of time.  Once the timer goes off, you’re done (unless of course you want to reset it for another 20 minutes).  Be practical.  Be realistic!  If you don’t clean up the mess today, it’ll be there tomorrow.

3)      When it comes to laundry, the pile never disappears completely.  We are blessed, however, to have automatic washing machines and dryers.  Throw a load in the wash each morning before you get ready for the day.  It’ll be washed before you’re done, just in time to throw it into the dryer.  The amazing thing about that:  you have a clean load of laundry when you get home.  Let the kids help you fold it and put it away.  This teaches them something essential, while allowing you time together.  It’s a win-win situation.

Being Superwoman is not what God has called us to.  We’ve imposed this on ourselves.  Take this week to study His perspective on what makes a woman super.  Read through Proverbs 31 and join us next week for some more tips on balancing work and home!